Well the new year arrived blown in on the wind of the rotten weather outside. Rain on the first day of January. The only way to begin a new year. My heart is already crying the cold tears that match the cold rain outside. I’m retreating back into my world of darkness. The one that kept me from being hurt. Allowing myself to believe in someone was the worst thing I could have done. I have never had any coping skills when it comes to relationships & this past year has proven just one thing to me. I need to come to terms with the fact that I will be alone for the rest of my life. I am not capable of producing a relationship with anyone becuz I have never been the type of woman that any man wants to be with on a permanent basis. I am good for the short term “fun-fest” but not for anything better. It’s time to admit that I am just not worth any man’s time. Admitting that might actually be the smartest thing I’ve ever done.